Unprepared. No idea how or where to start.
First memory of my achachan:
Every memory becomes cloudier as I try to think back and locate the oldest one. I guess it must be the one when he lost me in a fair. Everything there was shiney and glittering and I think I was so caught up with somethin that I stood there, staring, oblivious to the fact that he and my two other cousins had walked way ahead of me. I cried when it hit me. Thankfully, no one abducted me. xD That look on his face when he finally found me, is etched in my mind..coz I felt it too.
He loved making everyone eat (you can clearly see that on me). I recollect him setting up my dinner plate for me with rice, a bit of curry and various, as we call it, upperis to go with. As much as he made me eat, a lot more he made me drink water because I never believed in the consumption of water. xD I think he was the only one who was scared if I'll get dehydrated. :/
How he seemed:
As strict as you can imagin. Brought up 6 children will utmost discipline. No one even dared to look him in the eye, let alone back-answer. It was most naturally, carried onto the grandchildren as well. I thought its good that Im not staying with him or he wouldnt have let me hang out with my friends at all! Above all girls being around boys was a big no-no. I managed to be, I think his favourite grand daughter coz I was the only one around, mainly..
Moments:
I remember goin with him to Manalur, his village, where he grew up. He showed me the river where he used to go fishing, old houses, old neighbours..some lived there even when we visited. It was magical, not the place. The satisfaction on his face. I could imagine his satisfaction...
He used to come every single day to my house which is only five mins away. He used to come, usually with chocolates for me, and make sure all our doors were locked and if it weren't then hell would break loose! :-D
Then came the 70th birthday celebration, the festivals, the weddings... I guess beyond all this, I never really got to know him.
Today, he's lost all his memory. No wife, no children, no me. Not even his name. Always restless and calls out for his mom. He is putting up one last fight against everything from bed sore to dementia. I'm spending the nIght at the hospital today. I got to know alot more of their past from my aunt.
Somewhere along all the stories she said he was someone with a lil more of compassion n kindness to everyone.
And THEN it dawned on me. He was perfect in his own way. He finally did it. He brought his family from nothing to a two-floor, 3 bedroom and a-huge-lawn kinda house. Whatever little they had, he didn blow it. He worked. He saved.
Dont know if he hid the mildness of his heart with a tough skin. Or maybe that is just how he is. I still dont know.
All I know for sure is, I am proud to have had him. He hasnt taught me any lesson for a lifetime, no bed time stories or no piggy-back rides. But more than anything, I thank him for letting me in with secrets I was not allowed to tell my grandma, for giving me the privileg of knowing his past and for making me his favourite.
I know he has to leave us. As much as I wish it doesnt happen, I know its inevitable.
And here I am saying something I have never told you- I love you, achacha.
